I can see clearly now

Dr Wayne Dyer played a significant role in my well being this year. His book, 'I can see clearly now' was bought for my birthday. It is a fabulous memoir of Wayne's deep, intimate and powerful experiences. It's also an introduction to a range of inspiring authors and voices from around the globe that Wayne met during his lifetime. His words lifted me from the darkness of illness. I am grateful each day for life. Rest in peace Wayne.

Anita Moorjani, a great friend of Wayne's wrote her experiences of illness in the book, 'Dying to be me'. Hugely powerful, Anita shares her knowledge of illness, healing, letting go of fear, self love and the 'true magnificence of each and every human being.'
Remember who you are and embrace today.

Today will always be the most important time

My health has improved exponentially over the last few weeks. It's exciting to feel this shift. Can I put it down to the months of eating for health, inspired by Ella's recipes and experiences found in her book, Deliciously Ella.

Perhaps it's the daily undertaking of self massage (to encourage drainage of the lymphatic system) discovered from the ground breaking research of Dr Raymond Perrin (the Perrin technique is now being trialled by the NHS) combined with sessions of cranial osteopathy. Could it be the daily meditation sessions and the progressive development of mindfulness in daily activities? Reiki for balancing and increasing energy (momentous shift after a Reiki share)? Alternative massage treatments (healing and supportive). I'd like to think my positive attitude, drive and determination have played a key role too.

Fundamentally though, commitment has been paramount. My own commitment and the incredible support I've received throughout the year have caused such a shift in my body and mind. I began to trust in myself, let go of any doubts and fears.

I watched TED talks of people coming to terms with illness, improving their lives and most incredibly, overcoming terminal illnesses. I've researched new attitudes in the body's ability to self heal. When Western medicine has no answer we feel alone but with support, love and commitment, something special can happen. In my darkest moments I have received inspiration, hope and deeper clarity. Illness has brought opportunity and a new vision of what life can be like in the future.
Each day I learn something new, I do not procrastinate, I say yes to opportunities, I accept help and I am now in a position to assist others again.
Of course there's always the possibility that I may relapse but then again I may not. Today is for living. We do not know what tomorrow will bring so for today I'm grateful for love, support, health and happiness.
Finding gratitude on a daily basis is a good place to start. Initially, I was grateful to wake up to a new day, a new start. The past is just that, leave it with yesterday. Today will always be the most important time. Try something new today, could even be a new way of thinking. Whatever you do or think today could have the power to positively transform your tomorrows.

Girl in the Dark

Girl in the Dark by Anna Lyndsey is a fabulously written book which I've recently finished and wanted to share. 
It is a true story about Anna whose life in the dark is due to an extreme sensitivity to light. For Anna, the unthinkable did happen.  Through her words we become heartily aware of her remarkable attitude, perseverance and ability to adapt. 

Thank you Anna for sharing your story with the world.

Shaft of light

Fatigue was hot on my trail this morning but I couldn't let it have me. Before my vision would become too blurry I carefully negotiated the sparse county road to a most valuable destination; to spend time with a friend. How wonderful, I made it and still standing, still cognitively behaving. 
My lovely friend welcomed me into her family home and family life. I am so grateful for those beautiful exchanges today and for the wonder of her grandchildren. Children engaged and playing remind us all to just live a little bit more in the shaft of light that is joy. So yes I exchanged my flip flops for a trampoline. How light I felt standing centre, being bounced. The feeling of lightness devoid of additional effort is worth remembering when I next meditate.
I'm sure in the little boys faces I  glimpsed a look of curiosity as their faces reflected  mine lighting up like a Christmas Tree. There is no doubt about it, joy is a most delightful contagion.
For a few moments we passed the time lying beneath the spouting willow, while the sun played hide and seek. We crawled out lazily from the bouncing cocoon and found bees, butterflies, birds nesting and of course, a football. Of course I knew I'd not be able to resist a little game although I did sit down and become a 'watcher', 'audience' 'spectator' yes the words had begun to elude me at this point. My mind like the centre of a beautiful art card, 'left blank for your own message'. I would've laughed but for the arrival of tears leaking out of the corners of my eye. You're right, I told myself (quietly of course) you've had your time and you still need to drive home so although I, the me that is still buried within these layers of symptoms and fatigue did not want to leave. I did leave. Rest is a most demanding companion but I wouldn't be without it just yet. Childlike in many ways, I still find joy in the smallest of things and yes when I'm over tired these days I'm likely to have tears.

Capacity for Change

Something significant has emerged in my recent thinking which is partly why I’ve not added any further posts, until now. I was developing clarity on the matter. It feels like a startling revelation to my inner consciousness. The words I previously spoke, about considering illness or change as an opportunity to embrace, have now taken on greater depth and inherent clarity.

I am not ‘In Limbo’ . 

Acceptance creates freedom

These last months have not seen me while away my hours totally in a limbo state. Acceptance has been the key to unlocking a sense of peace. Since my total acceptance of having an undiagnosed illness and knowing that a solution or cure was not imminent I turned to myself. When there is nothing else, there is still Self. Can you sit quietly and listen to the sounds around you without thinking about what to do next? Take away the words should and could. There is only now. Jon Kabat-Zinn assists in how to use mindfulness in an otherwise chaotic world. His audio tapes are valuable when our own minds are struggling to focus. His voice encourages us into a healing state of meditation. When the mind is calm the body can begin to rest, to heal even.

You can change your life

When we inspire ourselves with uplifting quotes and images, we find a way to release negative emotions and fill the void with hope and positivity. These emotions are essential for our wellness. Laugh more than you cry. Love more than you dislike. This next one is far more difficult but if you can find a way to replace hate for forgiveness then you are likely to find the key to unlocking your own success. We know that hate breeds negativity, darkness, bitterness and despair. How can we move forward with the very acts that create the feelings of hatred? It is hard. Forgiveness is not so much about the perpetrator but it is about us. Those at the end of our hatred rarely feel it and the only harm being done is to ourselves. However we get there, the fact remains that through forgiveness we can experience greater emotional healing and the growing of the life that we were meant to have.

Being a Reiki Practitioner, I have witnessed the ease of many people’s difficulties and each time been in awe of the beauty contained within each of us to begin to heal ourselves. For me, Western Medicine has an essential role but when it reaches its outer limits there is only that which is contained within each of us that can help and we really can. 

For a while, in the depths of illness, I found it difficult to concentrate, difficult to meditate or get the energy flowing. Over time and there’s certainly been a lot of that, I have deepened my practice of mindfulness and other meditation techniques. Without realising I alleviated my anxiety which was a response to the distressing symptoms and reactions my body was having. I’m certain now that it has also prevented me from dipping into a downward spiral of depression.

Find joy in the small things

Physically, life currently remains a challenge but something that Dr Wayne Dyer says in his book, I Can See Clearly Now, sums up the very thing that I realise has altered and positively affected my mental outlook: When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Yes, life is different but with a positive outlook this time of my life has become an opportunity. My motto used to be mind over matter but now I take heed of my body and it’s needs too. Deepening my understanding of illness in others and the effects on everyday life has been profoundly enlightening. 

From A Guide to Rational Living by Dr Ellis, I’ll leave you with this thought, We are responsible for the way we feel and have within us the capacity to change the way we view the events in our lives.

Recover Your Life

Out here there is no waiting...

Waiting in a queue can sometimes feel like forever but we wait for the promise of what is to come. Waiting for news of our health is difficult though because we do not know what is to come. Do we have to wait? Isn't life for the living? Yes, of course, remember; where there's life theres hope. Find a way to live now! This is it folks, we won't get this time back.
It's so important to align our thoughts with positivity and I know you're wondering how can we do that with symptoms which can overwhelm us at the drop of a hat, when day to day living is a struggle?
There is a way for each of us to adapt and no, I did not want to adapt for the first few months and in my heart I long to be like the person I was before; with lots of energy, spontaneity and adventures. Realistically though, after several months and no quick fix I am learning to accept my situation and look for ways to enjoy life, to adapt without making my health problems more debilitating.
Throughout this experience and that's how I'm seeing it (for the most part) I have meditated and sometimes I've needed it a few times throughout the day, I use Reiki which I have intuitively adapted for my personal healing,  taking into account my new situation, combining both the Earth energy and Universal energy, I have enjoyed healing massage therapy, I continue to use visualisation and have faith. Emotionally, it is working and I am stronger. I read a lot of uplifting stories, self development and success stories. I watch for inspiration on You Tube, listen to audio books such as Think and Grow Rich, enjoy meditation apps or CDs such as Jon Kabat-Zinn, which

I blend the spinach raw

are so energising and can help us focus when we are struggling with bad days.
My ultimate aim is to help my body to alter at a deeper level so that it will continue to heal itself so I continue to eat a more thoughtful diet that resonates with my bodily needs. Diagnosed with IBS in my teens I have been aware of trigger foods so wheat, yeast, egg and milk are kept to a bare minimum. Already using dairy free milk, my favourite is the coconut or almond milk, not too many changes have been made. Spinach I already loved and used wholeheartedly. I eat more dark green, leafy vegetables, wholegrain rice, mostly plant based foods, whole grains and lean protein. The biggest change is the way I eat: I eat small amounts and more frequently. This way my digestive system is not having to work too hard, I do not choke as much, tiredness is kept at bay and my jaw does not ache from chewing.
This fabulous book called, 'Deliciously Ella' was given to me by friends and it has been an uplifting delight to read how someone else has adapted their life for the better and out of it come some truly delicious recipes.
My all time favourite from Ella's book is the recipe for Apple Puree. 
I was recently bought a food mixer/ blender and eating healthily is so much easier. One of the best things I've done is cut out sugar and replace it with pure honey and maple syrup. Try blending a banana, dairy free milk, maple syrup, raw cocao powder and cinnamon - delicious!
That's all for now. Would love to hear and share your experiences which are helping you to recover your life. Email me at wildthymestudio@gmail.com

Free your mind

A long road ahead 

It can feel like a long road ahead when you're not feeling well. For me, when I was able to get out yesterday, the sea air had an energising effect on my mind. I really hope my experience can help you too:

By simply sitting or laying on the beach, or whatever works for you, let your mind become still. Let your negative thoughts go with the breeze, I mean really let them go, with commitment and deep intention. Then fill up on the cleansing air now surrounding you.

Release negative thoughts

You will already begin to feel a sense of freedom. Breathe deeply, filling your mind with all the good things you want for yourself such as happiness, wellness, love and so on. Remember you are free to choose your thoughts so invest wisely. It's important to really feel the moment. Release negative or unwanted thoughts. This time should not be hurried. You are worth the time it takes to feel well. I believe that the key lies in focussing on the wellness instead of the illness. It's a shift in focus that can begin to make a world of difference to our minds. It can bring about peace and calm. The body is an incredible vessel and as we know, can heal itself from cuts, bruises and many known illnesses. Doctors can take the burden of worry from our own minds to investigate our ailments. They are the medically trained.  Let us however, focus on the job of helping our body function with positivity, good intentions, mindfulness and wellness. 

Free your mind